Last Updated: 184416MAR98EST

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Space Rogue's

Whacked Mac Archives

This is a collection of some of the lame/stupid/funny/etc. mail that I have recieved, regarding the Whacked Mac Archives. Unfortunatly alot of the good stuff was lost recently due to a hard drive crash which is one of the reasons I decided to start this collection. I'll be adding to it over time as more of this crazy mail comes in. It is provided here, in chronological order, for your ammusement and as an example of what NOT to send as mail lest you be added to the list. I have made no changes to the letters except for the email names or other identification means. I have left the domain names alone so you can see where the majority of them come from. Enjoy.

This file has been split into two sections The old stuff (MAR96 to JAN97) is here..

Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 15:39:53 -0600
Subject: ...

What is the point of having a five user limit? Well, maybe you could
help me out, ya YOU! Ok, this is what I'm looking for. I have two
computers. One is a pc, one is a mac...I have hackin stuff on the pc,
but i need some stuff for my mac. I wanna be able to kill and nuke
all people. Like on IRc or something...hey!!!!!! LALALA!!! Anyone in


Nope, No in here. Sorry.


Date: Thu, 27 Nov 1997 08:32:31 +0300
From: Vlad Boris <>
Subject: help

Tell me all codes pleas.


Codes? Codes? We don't need no stinking codes!


Date: Fri, 14 Nov 1997 00:41:16 -0700
From: Colon Gally <>
Subject: You have saved my life

To the Honorable Mr. Whacked:
As I read through the vast and ubiquitous expanse of lamer expressions
which you have stored inside your Portion of Cyber-Space I gasp with a
vitreous and despairing angst at
their departures from the Protocol of Reason. Do they not realize that
the power of your gaze can unlock the gates of the Pentagon, that you
are not merely a little toy for them to drain the knowledge of? But why
belabor the obvious. I say to all of you lamers, who,
relative to Mr. Whacked, even include my humble Self, I say to you,
remember this:
I was wandering naked and cold in the wilderness when Whacked found me.
He took me in and enclosed me in a silvery-green blanket of silicon and
nursed me back to health. It took many months, but he did it, and he
did not stop there, no; he saved my brain from the doctrine of Lamer
Reasoning as well. I owe my life to him. Remember that, children.
Remember that it is better to listen to his soothing words than to
blather on and on with your foolish questions. Listen and think. It is
the way.


Some of you people are taking this shit waaay to seriously.


Date: Wed, 12 Nov 1997 23:46:24 -0500
From: Joeseph Rivers <>
Subject: YOU RULE!!!

your cool how long have you been working with macs???Ived been since i
was 4!!! well anyway what software do you use for the ftp using your old
mac???i also colect old macs!!!THEY RULE!!!!i personlly use my
PowerBook100!!!it rules!!! i will buy your cd it rules!!!!(as soon as i
have money!!) anyway write me back!!! I could also get you more software
and some Warez to add to your colection!!!(as soon as i get my new
mac{very soon ill mail you as soon as i do}) ok mail me back C-Ya

Your newly found friend
Joeseph Rivers
(Mac Addict 4 Life)


Dude!!!! You Rule!!!! PowerBookk 100s Rule!!! Everything just RULES man!!!!


Date: Sat, 26 Apr 1997 17:35:42 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: please send...

what is ftp?


Everyone is going to think I made that up.


From: pixie <>
Date: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 20:26:21 -0800
Subject: Tapes #379 & #381

hi can u send me tape #379 and #381, but please wrap it in a plain package
becauze i dont want my mom to know im getting that sort of stuff through the
mailm, but i think i am old enogh.
thank you


Tapes? I think you sent this to the wrong place man. Try using both hands on the keyboard. It helps.


From: chrome dome <>
Date: Tue, 11 Mar 1997 21:04:19 +0000
Subject: 7.77777777777

looking for my dog his name is sys7.6 and his partner 7.7
have you seen them in your travells because i caN NOT SEE THEm in your
are you experienced?


Attention, Wannabe! Put down the keyboard and slowly step away from the computer!


From: "S.K. Sockit" <>
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 1997 20:43:46 -0800
Subject: hi

nice files. what do i do with them to open/download them? no humor please
i'm from holland.


What, they don't allow humor in Holland?


From: Willie McGee <>
Date: Sat, 01 Feb 1997 17:06:34 +0000
Subject: I need a site

Do u know a site where i can d/l the game macfoxes.sit?!? I really need
it please.


You 'need' it? What your imagination not working? Damn, just go buy a magazine.

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